final part

Final part of a series of blogs which ended up being a bit more than a week, due to internet and other things that keep coming up.

 

These last few months have been amazing, its not always fun as im sure youll have realised from the blogs, but I know that this is where that Im supposed to be, that this is Gods plan for me at the moment and that there are so many people here who I love and desperately want to help.

 

One moment of pure joy happened yesterday. One of my grade 12 students joined this year from another school and hed said it was because of the teaching which hed heard about. Yesterday he showed me a picture of me and him last august when id been volunteering at the local clinic. I vaguely remember him as being a talented students but having taught nearly 500 students in the last year I didnt really remember him. Hed remembered me though and Id clearly made an impression on him which was an amazing gift to me, to see the value that education has to the kids. (ok probably doesn’t make sense but im not good at explaining feelings and thoughts!)

 

I love the students, especially grade xi. At the start of the year I dreaded teaching them, due to the vast array of abilities. Now I love it, because they all try so hard. And each of them as a special, unique place in my heart. Some are just great guys to have fun with and act like a kid again, others care so much hat they always want to help, all of them burst into a smile when I see them (except one, but then he smiles occasionally and that’s really special!)

 

I finished writing the grade xii text book this week and now have a history text book written on germany for grade xi and America for grade 12. Hopefully that’s the last major textbook I need to write for a while, although im sure there will be plenty of revisions done in the future.

 

These last few days ive held a writing camp for grade 11 and 12 wanting to improve. 14 were invited and 8 came, which is fine, many were in Burma and didn’t want to leave their families until after the weekend. Considering that they don’t see their families for 3-4 months at a time this is not exactly unexpected. Those that did come were great. They got involved and even the smallest girl had fun during the animal game: evolution, which was funny as usually you cannot hear her but she was totally relaxed yesterday and seemed to enjoy acting out the actions and noises. All the students seem to grow so much in confidence, I just hope that this will continue for the next 18 months until they graduate!

 

theres so much that i want to share but i cant, im just not able to put the memories and feelings into written words, and so many photos which i want to share – but i dont want to sit here for hours uploading them and im not convinced it would be safe to do so anyway, but ill leave you with this and hope to pick up the blog again when i get a break from teaching!

 

6: the other side to work here

End of another long day – and this is supposed to be a holiday! I collapsed last night onto the floor at about 8.30am and slept soundly!

 

Been teaching a writing camp today for my grade xi students. Originally it was planned for 14 of them but only 8 showed up, not surprisingly some had forgotten and some were till in Burma, however those that were there seemed to understand the basics that we were going over.

 

 

In between teaching this (while they were writing) ive been no the internet trying to search out some new leads for possible funding. The BMWEC is a great organisation with established procedures in place that in theory fits what many foundations want – the snag is they don’t like unsolicited requests. Those that do seem to be unable to take on any more projects in the current economic climate.

 

Thanks goes out to the people who sent donations for the IDP teachers. There is now enough money to give them a second stipend. There are also promising noises which suggest a longer term deal may be able to start form next June so fingers crossed there. That will leave them without a stipend at the end of the year and im looking to fund raise a little money for that (£800).

 

Ive spent a considerable amount of time today writing to children’s book publishers who welcome requests for books and hope that some may respond positively. If so the library at HTL may be improved and possibly a library started at TMK. Im also tempted to look at a book collection back in the UK with a view to shipping them out march next year when I get back which would hopefully mean they were available for the start of the next school year. Anyone in Bath up for lending a hand there let me know!

 

Ive also been asked if I know anyone who would support the Christmas festivities at HTL. Every year they learn carols and go out into the community (predominantly Christian) and sing carols, invite them to the Christmas service and then feed everyone. Im told that they need around £400 for this!

 

With the work I do with BMWEC may of the needy projects are on a huge scale and the most pressing priorities are Kwel Qa Baung, in the region of £20,000 per year, still without a funder; HTL boarding house (£1000.00 per year to replace the funder whose term expires in December and is unable to renew) and a donor for the Post 10programs at HTL and TMK – anyone who works for a large company which has a global citizen policy (or whatever pc term they choose to apply) please forward details on. Ive also been working with an intern (from my grade xii class) on how to put together proposals and hes just about finished one for food for a high school (Kwel Qa Baung) which will be sent out net week to organisations who have a mission to provide meals for school children.

 

I do hate the side of my job which spends so much time looking at figures and budgets and proposals. It is not exactly satisfying, neither is it enjoyable, unlike the teaching. However what is worse is the feeling that things are moving ow so slowly in regard to looking for new donors to fund projects which are in desperate need of money and children who need to eat!

The last part of the weeks blog (late I know) will be tomorrow and will focus on the high points of the first semester, the children and the amazing changes which ive been privileged to have been part of and in.

 

Part 5: The children

Theres many terms to describe the group of people who I work with. Some call them economic migrants, others would say refugees, some (technical people) say stateless, undocumented children, the school I work for proudly proclaims to be for internally displaced people (even though it is not in Burma!). I frequently get into trouble for using the wrong term with the wrong group of people so let me describe them and ill let you make up your own minds.

 

For 60 years there has been a civil war in Burma between the ethnic minorities and the government. In 1990 there was an election and the NLD was voted into power howeve the ruling military decided they didnt want to hand ovr power and until this day they have kept the democratically elected leader under house arrest (You’ve probably seen that bit on the news, shes called Aung San Sui Kyi and shes a noble peace prize winner!)

 

You many wonder why so many have fled Burma to neighbouring countries. A few days ago I mentioned about Rambo being pretty accurate. Unfortunately that is no exaggeration. The families of the children I teach have often been forced to move, seen their rice paddies confiscated and their homes burned. Those who are still living in villages often have to pay three lots of tax; one to the government, one to the governments friends and one to the ‘freedom soldiers’ who are fighting for THEM!

 

I was having lunch with one fo my soldiers recently and asked him what he wanted to do, he wants to return to his village but he knows that he risks being forced into the army. His um told him to flee and not come back to avoid being press ganged into the local militia. He smiled at that. Hes so quiet and often scowls in class but just now and again he quirks his lip and that melts me, as I know ive brought a little happiness into his life.

 

One of the girls in my class is the daughter of a lieutenant in the freedom army. Shes here to learn how to teach as where she is from most of the children don’t have education. There are no teaches and the government will not spend any money on schools. Even where children do get education, the teachers and school have to be supported by the parents of the children, most never receive outside help.

 

Ive focused here mostly on education, but I could equally have looked at the mutilations, killings, rape or beatings that the children have witnessed, and in some cases endured. Burma is also the leading country in number of live landmines and so it should come of no surprise to hear that there are many victims on this side of the border with missing limbs or artificial replacements.

 

The question of what to call these people to me is a simple one, they are friends, in need, but friends. The smiles on their faces warms me and whenever I feel a little down or tired all I need to do is look at one of them and im instantly revived.

 

I hope that sheds a little light on why im here and on why I love these children so much. If you are Christian, Id ask you to join me in prayer for them, and petition God for more love in their lives. They’ve had to endure so much at such a young age and yes they still constantly smile, and yet talking to some they also have a deep sorrow, one that can only be healed with love.

P4: Perseverance, Power, Prayer and Purpose

Last Sunday I was asked if I would preach at the English service of the Baptist church so this morning I did. Finding a topic was easy, in fact the Holy Spirit had given me the topic before I even received the invitation! (about 2 hours before)

 

The topic was easy – the spiritual fire of God within us, or in more memorable terms: Perseverance, Power, Prayer and Purpose/Passing-it-on. Im indebted to Jonathon for his explanation of why we use ‘hooks’ (so that we remember the sermon further than the car door!) and Rupert too for little bits which I inevitably stole from past sermons.

 

The reasons this was so easy is because a battle I have faced recently is keeping the spirit alive in me, when all im doing is serving. Strange you might think, as, being a Christian, im called to serve. Agreed, but a problem can arise when all we are doing is ‘wearing the cloak of endless serving’ and forgetting that God should be the reason for the serving, the strength we need to serve, and the reason we share with others.

 

The second of those points I find easy, especially when cooking at 3.30 am after 3 hours sleep, I have no strength and can ONLY rely on Gods, but also sharing Gods love with others, verbally as well as practically can be a challenge. I know I certainly struggled with that over the last few weeks. Usually I chat to people easily about God, but while ive been tired ive tended to accept these opportunities a little less.

 

Holiday time I here though and, while im still not exactly relaxing on a beach, I am taking a lot more time to fan those spiritual gifts within me and learn more about my saviour, Jesus Christ. Its strange that, compared to many other spiritual battles ive faced, this has been a lot less painful, but ultimately is so much more dangerous, however now, when I look around (with only a hundred things going through my mind instead of a thousand) I can see Gods glory and design in so many ways and im really reinvigorated and happy that I am here to serve God and share his love with those that I meet.

 

After preaching this morning I went to the Karen service (I love listening to the Karen songs and joining in with those that ive learnt) and was also drawn towards the book of Ruth. WOW! For someone who gave up so much to go and serve in a foreign land, boy was she rewarded. But I shouldn’t be surprised I suppose, as that is the exact message that Jesus gives us in Mark 10: 29-31.

 

Ill update again tomorrow with more about the actual people I live with – the Karen and how they approach life with nothing but a smile!

Blog Week 3: The Schools

Last few weeks have been quite challenging personally, working out what to do next semester. A number of things have come up and it is now decided that I will be teaching at Hsa Thoo Lei and working with BMWEC on funding. The curricula has now been developed at Thoo Mwe Khee and so I have handed the whole thing over to Shirley and Peacefully to manage. Hopefully they will continue to run the school well and the students, who have learnt so much in such a short space of time, will continue to develop educationally and spiritually.

 

One school which really breaks my heart is Kwel Qa Baung. There umbrella organisation, Help Without Frontiers, stopped their funding in February this year over an argument between staff at HWF and the chairman. I could write pages on how this is unreasonable and cruel and hurts the children who the organisation are supposedly their to protect but I wont. Currently they are surviving on emergency funding which means rent, transport and 1,000B per teacher is paid for by World Education, an NGO working on the border. But it has now been 7 months and they are not really any closer to finding a long term donor who will support the 420 children there! This continues to be the biggest and most challenging task that I work on with BMWEC.

 

On a positive note some of the schools have found new donors for the next 18 months so the pressure is off their budgets.

 

Schools need (relatively) little to run and it is difficult to see why it is so hard to fund donors, although many potential people I have tried recently have responded with the inevitable ‘not in this financial climate’ response. The worldwide recession is truly world wide and hits the people who have the least.

 

We did hold training for some teachers recently and I was really happy tp be able to sit and chat to one from the IDP area (area in Burma where villagers have escaped to after forced relocation by the Burmese army). The money that the CU at Bath raised helped to give each teacher a 1000B stipend. Prior to this they had received nothing for two years. They were so happy that someone had taken the time to try and give them something and were really looking forward to being able to feed their families properly without replying on charity from the parents of the children who they teach.

 

There is still a little money left from the CU and so I’m hoping to give them all a second pay check in December. 1000B is only £20, and for three months work this is ridiculously little, whether looking at the process in Thailand or the UK! What really amazes me is that even after two years without a single baht salary, they were all still teaching, giving their all to try and help the next generation. Would the teachers in the UK still be teaching if they hadn’t been paid for two years?

 

Teaching despite not being paid is not just a phenonemum is the 13 IDP schools. Many schools up and down the border often go for a month or two without wages as the donors don’t pay on time, the ate changes or there is simply no donor, as at KQB and yet the children never go without education.

Blog Week Part 2: 24 hour work!

During exams everyone seems to have been working all ours. A couple of weeks ago I went out to the school office at about 9.30 at night and there was the school director overseeing the pruning of the school bushes (see picture). When I pointed out the time she commented that she had started and so the others had decided to join in!

 

Exams have been a struggle, but rewarding. Marking the History two days ago was like having schizophrenia, being down while marking one question and jumping for joy on another when I saw that the last 15 weeks of hard work had paid off with some students. And then it all starts again in 10 days time!

 

It was especially pleasing to see that some of the students who asked me for help with the Geography did well. Living at the boarding house really had made me feel part of one huge family and seeing the delight on the kids faces when they do well is amazingly satisfying, however the pain I feel when seeing the kids destroyed by a bad mark is horrible. Happily they quickly recover, not because they don’t care, but because that’s their way. Whatever happens they smile.

 

Many of these kids have fled horrendous events. Some are orphans, many have witnessed crimes which would break the hardest of hearts. Talking to some who have graduated, the likelihood of them being arrested and detained in Burma is now a lot higher – because they have attended an education course in  Thailand. And yet they are still here, desperate to learn so that in some way they can help their communities build for the future.

 

I wish I could describe the stories and emotions attached t this place, it really is impossible though.

 

I was watching the new(ish) Rambo two nights ago and a student walked by. He pointed at the Buman officer and said “I hate him, I want to kill him.” He was serious. To many in the west the scenes of brutality in the film are stories; movie violence. To the kids here on the border the scenes are a grim reality, if they themselves haven’t seen it, may of their friends have.

 

And yet they never stop smiling!

 

PS favourite quote of the last week (A Grade 12 student complaining) “You’re making me think!”

Blog Week Part 1

OK, so I havnt been that good recently in doing this blog thing. My bag, but in my defence I have been pretty busy. Anyway instead f trying to say everything I want to in one go, I thought it best to split it into several instalments, so keep checking for the next week!

 

Since last time weve finished teaching, done revision, and sat exams. Now im on errr holiday (insert marking week / preparation week / reports / text book writing). Last two weeks I have been working a lot so also sleeping week.

 

While the kids were on exams I didn’t like the idea of my students having to get up at 3.30am to cook (if they had an exam at 9 this is harsh!) so after voicing my concerns I was promptly told that if I didnt like it I could always swap places with them. Whether it was a moment of stupidity or what I don’t know, but I did, and for the last couple of weeks ive been cooking (for 150 hungry students on wood and charcoal stove/buckets). The students ere really appreciative and somehow I still had the energy to revise with them till nearly midnight every day – Praise God for his faithfulness in answering prayer and giving me strength!

 

One night does stand out in particular as I always told my students to wake me if they needed me, especially the night before their exam. Twice between 12 and 12.20 (midnight) I was awoken by students who had completed extra practise questions and wanted them marking! Only in a boarding house! But they are so keen, How can you refuse?

 

Night Study

Anyway that’s enough of a procrastination break, im off back to Grade Xi marking, but ill be posting tomorrow with stories about the students and exams.

getting old

Since getting to the border life has been busy, with MOEI training, budgets, fund raising, donations and teaching and the experience with the kids has been a bit of a rollercoaster, bumpy at first while they readjusted to the level of commitment I expected and then good, mostly. Occasionally things would slip and they would need a reminder to work hard, but usually things have been good, and that’s no different now, but I expect a little more at the moment because the end of term is looming and they have mid year exams, unfortunately that is coinciding with the temperature and humidity soaring and the level of energy plummeting.

 

This week has been a bit more easy on the work load since I stopped formal teaching on Thursday / friday (just 5 hours night study now, instead of the 5 hours teaching and 5 hours study) and its allowed me to think about  my experiences a little bit more.

 

Its been a strange week, one of reflection for different reasons. I remember the 10^th September 2001. In school we had a special assembly where the tragedy of 9-11 was explained and then a little later in history our teacher told us to write down where we were and how we felt when we first heard about the terrorist attacks. He said that one day this would be being taught in schools, it would be on the history syllabus. Course it would but we didn’t really care. Well this week I was teaching 9-1 to my grade 12 students. We watched original videos from you tube and looked at the motives and consequences.

 

I say im getting old because I never thought about how quickly life goes by, or about how events when we are young shape the future. I also remember certain teachers chasing us round sixth form trying to get us to go to lessons and constantly harping on about how the decisions we made then would shape our future. These last two weeks ive been chasing up students who are absent, lecturing on why education and homework is important and how the students should try hard over the next 5 weeks before the mid year exams. The joys of teaching – only a few months ago I was skipping lectures for a bit of extra sleep and negotiating a 4 week holiday just before Easter term break so that I could come to the border!

 

It seems sad that everything I do myself, im now trying to stop students doing, is this me suddenly getting old and responsible? or just starting to understand how our decisions shape our futures.

 

I know on a spiritual level, my respect for education and desire to work hard in everything I do to show Gods glory has been completely different to my general work ethos before I was saved, and I know too that it is God that motivates me to work now, and try to both inspire these children and spread the gospel but the realization that my attitude has completely changed has been a shock this week!

3 monkeys

There are 9 schools that no one from the west see, no one from the west hear about and no one from the west thinks about.

 

At these schools there are close to a THOUSAND students and 46 teachers and yet because the west don’t see them or know about them they don’t help them. For too long these teachers have been expected to teach for free, or for food donated by grateful parents.

 

Why is this? These schools are inside Burma, in the IDP area, this means the area where people live because they have been forced to leave their homes, their villages having either been raided or burnt down years ago, probably both.

 

It breaks my heart to hear estimates of how much it would cost to pay these people, not because the prices are so high that we can never find the money, but because the process are so embarrassingly low that they could be looked after easily! 3,000 Baht will pay the annual salary of one teacher, that’s £6 a month per teacher.

 

I’m sitting in an office, trying to mark but all I can do is think about these children and teachers. I’ve seen photographs of the schools and children and they are clean schools, no different to any in the migrant area of Thailand, and yet are not funded because prospective donors would not be allowed to visit and so they concentrate on schools within Thailand.

 

The amount of money that is wasted everyday in the west is ridiculous, the amount we throw away on frivolous things, and the amount we spend on alcohol or cigarettes. For little more than one packet of cigarettes a month, a teacher could receive a wage.

 

When is the west going to do something to help these children, who deserve an education, and these teachers who deserve to be paid for their work? If the answer is not soon then yet more children will likely find themselves without a chance in life.

 

If anyone can help, or knows of a foundation/organization that would like to help, then please contact me, thra_steve@hotmail.co.uk

 

I named this three monkeys because of the old saying, see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Well in this case we collectively refuse to see the evil, or hear of the evil, or speak of the evil. Lets end this!

Questions and Answers

I nearly wrote a blog entry a couple of weeks ago, entitled out of the darkness. It had been a rough few weeks with disagreements and arguments, and vast transformations to my future plans but then it was Sunday night, I was sat in a classroom singing in a language I didn’t understand and dancing a dance I didn’t know with a load of students I dint recognize. And it was great. Difficult to imagine? Let me try and set the scene.

 

Arguments and disagreements – I started a school with an Australian missionary who is currently finishing her PhD in oz. my vision all along was to start a new style of post 10 college, one which would not just be sound academically but teach the students to be self motivated and the value of working hard. This would have led to them being able to get employment when they leave. However for this to work we need to treat the students like adults, not make them do things through fear of being punished; like uni students. The chairman of the school didn’t agree, nether did the teachers. A couple of miserable weeks followed with disagreements on every issue and my forcing through every decision in the name of the greater good for the students.

 

But then I was sat there reading the bible and things didn’t seem right. I was arguing, causing ruptions and I knew that the chairman, also the village pastor, wasn’t happy but he was being typically Karen about it and saying yes so as not to loose face. Throughout the bible we are taught to serve others and work towards unity, i.e. the opposite of what was happening.

 

Two weeks later I decided to leave the school at the end of the year. This too didn’t have the happy outcome I hoped it might have. After saying I would leave at the end of the year, leaving a functioning school, building and donor in place, I was told many hurtful things.

 

But then this Sunday night I remembered what I was doing here. I’m here for the students, because there is nothing so satisfying as watching the students sing, dance and generally live with the biggest smiles on their faces. Even at 10pm they were still at it. Out of the darkness I came and remembered the whole reason I originally decided to devote a considerable chunk of my life to these people.

 

The next day God was extremely faithful. I had been praying that God would both make me rejoice in all the decisions I had to make and in life, and then he presented me with a new program at Hsa Thoo Lei.

 

So next year I will be launching a vocational training course for Grade 12 graduates, teaching them primary and middle level teaching skills and proposal writing. Amazingly, most of the funding is already in place, and the whole thing was put together within a couple of weeks, Gods will! This also completes the original vision I had for the school, taking the students who would graduate, and teaching them vocational and self motivational skills and leading them to employment.

 

 

And yet how easy it is to fall out of that peacefulness and again get sidetracked by the world. I currently teach history to two grades, English to two grades and at two schools and politics to Grade XII too as well as working on proposal writing, a little coordination with MOEI volunteers and Sunday school to the older students, not to mention leading bible study and worship on Thursday evenings. Getting side tracked is so easy.

 

I’ve recently been learning Karen dancing too and was asked to dance at the Karen wrist tying ceremony – we had 31 syncronised dancers and me, who had been learning a very complicated dance for only 10 days!

 

So am I still in the darkness, wondering around lost? Feeling blue and generally over worked? Well I am still working from 8.30 to midnight most days, though I try to get a few hours off on Saturdays before fellowship and again Sunday afternoons.

 

But no I’m not. I’ve been following a DVD series recently, partly through fellowship and partly at home. It’s called the Truth Project, by an American group called focus on the family. And it is amazing. Not only has it really challenged how I look at things, but many arguments I had previously heard I am now looking at again in a completely new way!

 

I also listened to a sermon by my pastor last week. It was on the importance of peace in our lives and you know, that really does seem to be the answer to life, what is the meaning of life? Well for me it is to work towards being at peace with God, for then everything else just happens, according to His amazing plan!

 

As a quick aside I just finished watching season 3 of 24 – AMAZING!!!!!! And I’m reading a book called Heaven and Hell by Edward Donnelly, did you know that heaven is not only used to describe Gods realm, but also the sky and space, despite there being specific Hebrew/Greek words for these ideas.  One question that I always used to ask as a kid was, “If God is going to raise all the dead, where will they all live?” well I never really found an answer to that, in fact it kinda got forgotten about  as I first fell into the sectarian world view and then started to focus n the bigger issues of Christianity. But there is the answer, heaven has some of the attributes of the sky and space – its size is beyond our comprehension! Made me smile to think of this, and to also recognize how God can answer all of our questions, if only we allow Him.